If I were in Alaska right now I’d totally try to bone….

….pretty much anybody I could. Especially if I weren’t in Anchorage. There’s 22 Alaskan guys on Manhunt right now, and 15 of them are in Anchorage. Also, two of the others aren’t even in Alaska and are just guys that list Alaska in their profile so people won’t find them. Needless to say they’re probably ugly and lacking in the penile girth department.

Of the ones that are left, there’s a surprising amount of ethnic diversity and, better, a lot of facial hair. Grimmstone has a crazy fu manchu thing going on, and he’s probably the guy I’d try to nail first (or grab a beer with, since his profile says he likes beer.) He’s not what you’d call hot in a typical way, but his smile’s nice. Otherwise, ANCDude35’s pictures are all out of proportion but he seems like he’d probably be cool to have a beer with, too.

Aside from that, the pickins are awfully slim.

[nb: after a post made on a different Silent Pillow blog, I decided to get rid of this feature here on Mixtapes For Hookers. I had already written this one and just not posted it yet. If, for some reason, you find it entertaining for me to alleviate my boredom by hanging out looking at pictures of horny men 23 states away from me, let me know and I’ll keep going. Otherwise, this may be it for the If I Were…. feature.)