This Weekend’s Football Picks

Jeez. So I went, um, 0-4 with my NFL predictions last week. But on the upside the Seahawks won, and I did watch my first full football game in about twelve years. But I guess that means I was wrong, and that a cute QB may actually work as a detriment to a team. So, the quick breakdown for this week’s match-ups:

Brett Favre, old thing that he is, is hotter than Matt Hasselbeck. The Seahawks will win.

Tom Brady is seriously overrated in terms of hotness. David Garrard isn’t. The Patriots will win.

Eli Manning, though he’s kind of twinky, is cuter than cheeky Jessica Simpson-dating Tony Romo. The Cowboys will win.

Philip Rivers is cute enough, but Peyton Manning is a banana split of sex with chocolate chips and sprinkles on top. So maybe the Chargers, against all odds, will win.

In no order whatsoever: Favre, Hasselbeck, Rivers, Romo, Brady, Garrard, and the Mannings. Also, I know football isn’t meant with the gays in mind, but seriously, why are there almost no decent pictures of any of these guys anywhere? Brady’s the only one that even seems to do print ads, and Romo, despite the fact that he’s dating Jessica Simpson, has nary a decent picture on the whole damn internet. Not to mention Garrard. I’m not even talking hot, I just mean thought-out and not tiny. I’m not expecting a French rugby video, but come on people. You football fans all have wives and they might enjoy looking at a hunky man every once in awhile. I should make mention of Rick Chapman’s website, which is where the Favre and Hasselbeck pictures come from. While they’re definitely not my style (at all), at least he’s trying.