Starfucker Tuesday: Daniel Day-Lewis

The Oscar nominations came out this morning, and as I’ve said before I can’t say much about most of the nominees since I haven’t actually seen most of the movies that came out this year. But don’t worry, that won’t stop me from shallowly judging my the Best Actor categories based entirely on looks!

First up is Daniel Day-Lewis, nominated for his totally excellent performance in There Will Be Blood, which is one of the few movies of the year I actually did see.

Mr Day-Lewis doesn’t appear in many movies–only three in the last ten years–and according to his ridiculous Wikipedia entry he spends a lot of his time making shoes. But every time he does show up in a movie he gets lots of awards for it. The only recent exception is The Ballad of Jack and Rose, which didn’t get totally fawning reviews and which was directed by his wife, Rebecca Miller. She’s the daughter of Arthur Miller and he met her when he was making The Crucible. Weird, right?

He’s starred in a bunch of Jim Sheridan movies. Back when I was about fourteen, I was really into my Irish-Americanness and used to watch Jim Sheridan’s movie and think they were Very Important because they won lots of awards and dealt with serious subjects like the IRA and only being able to move your left foot. I have no idea if My Left Foot or In The Name of the Father are as good as I remember, but back then I thought they were pretty awesome. Sheridan also made The Boxer (which I never saw, for some reason) and Get Rich Or Die Tryin’, oddly. Now he’s working on a movie about war in Afghanistan with Jake Gyllenhaal, Natalie Portman, and Tobery Maguire, which I’ll probably want to see but not actually ever get around to seeing.

I never particularly thought of Daniel Day-Lewis as a sexy person because, generally, he’s in really unsexy movies, including There Will Be Blood, despite the presence of oil derricks (aka giant squirting cocks of death!) and mines (aka giant gaping vaginas of death!) The movie, incidentally, is about two and a half hours long and barely has a single line spoken by a woman between the ages of about ten and about seventy. But I don’t want to say much more than that, except that you should totally see it before the clips during the Oscar ceremony kill any suspense related to the movie.

Another reason I don’t think I’ve ever lusted after DD-L is his hair. Although he’s got that hot shaved head/thick eyebrows combination that makes me cream my shorts on a more or less daily basis, in movies he’s always got long hair that I totally can’t get into. Gangs of New York, In The Name of the Father, My Left Foot. Hair, hair, hair. Also, I think it’s odd that he’s got long hair in every movie, shaves it for every press circuit and awards season, and then disappears back to Italy or wherever it is he goes when he’s not working. I mean, I guess he’s in more epic costumey things than most actors, but still.

The thing is, though, he’s kind of hot. I mean, not obscenely hot, and definitely not with his There Will Be Blood moustache (or his Gangs of New York top hat, or his My Left Foot paralysis, for that matter.) But there’s something about his drawn-in cheeks and Sam The Eagle eyebrows that could really make for some good celebrity jack-off fodder from time to time.

Another thing about Mr Day-Lewis is that he was in My Beautiful Laundrette, which is one of the first really gay movies that lots of boys see. Written by Hanif Kureishi and directed by Stephen Frears, it’s about a messed-up relationship between a Pakistani guy and a racist with terrible hair. Daniel, of course, is the racist with terrible hair. But, if you’re still going through puberty or have a thing for blond with black roots, it’s a very sexy movie. Not even hot, just sexual and gay. And when you’re young that’s really enough.

Below, check him sexily rocking the grey jacket and black tie, and stills from In The Name of the Father and The Age of Innocence, the fussy Edith Wharton/ Martin Scorcese extravaganza that, for some reason, I’ve never bothered to see.

_uacct = “UA-3402508-2″;
urchinTracker();